Supporting NICU Moms: 7 Tips For Surviving The Journey Together
How to Help the Parents Cope in the NICU, what to send, and What to Avoid
Pregnancy is filled with preparations for the expected moments. Mom plans for the problems and dilemmas within control. She stocks up on essentials from swaddles to bottles and feeds her body with nutrients and vitamins to finish her pregnancy strong. She plans for the expected but nothing prepares her for the unexpected.
With the hospital bags packed full of goodies and postpartum necessities, she feels confidently prepped for her stay with all the “must-haves” she read about. Comfy postpartum loungewear, cozy slippers, toiletries, babies going home outfit, announcement props, phone charger, snacks and tons more (yeah, that bag fills up pretty quickly).
But then…the unexpected happens (and she never thought it would happen to her). But now she won’t need that going home outfit (not yet), and those first planned photos will have to wait a bit. The hospital journey that was intended to be short, sweet, and joyful, is now only beginning and filled with fear, anxiety, and unknown possibilities. The picture she imagined of her baby's first hours drifts further away. She prepares herself emotionally for what’s next as more questions arise than are answered.
So, how do we help those Moms who have found themselves an unexpected temporary resident of the The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)?
Here are the top tips given by NICU Mom’s on how to show your support:
Tips to be a Pro NICU Support System
Support The Parents
Baby is in the best hands possible with round the clock care under the watchful eyes of the nurses and doctors. There isn’t much we can do to help progress the baby's condition, but what we can do is support the parents. With an ear or a shoulder or a couple of helpful hands, we can focus our energy on the needs of the parents, whatever they may be.
2. Don’t Compare Their Experience With Others/Dont Give Unsolicited Advice
Sometimes, the most well-intentioned comments can sting the most and are better left unsaid. It’s difficult to know exactly what to say but with each NICU experience being so different, the last thing they need to hear is a story that may scare or feed them false hope.
3. Call and Text
Although a call or text may go unanswered for a while, it’s nice to have friends and family check in. Those calls don’t even have to be about the hospital or baby. In fact, it’s best to chat about other topics like the weather or what’s going on in your life to lighten their heavy hearts, get their mind off of their reality, and instill some sense of normalcy.
4. Send Food!
They call it comfort food for a reason! With GrubHub and DoorDash at the ready, you have no excuse not to send Mom and Dad some of their favorite eats if you can’t bring them in person. The last thing they are thinking about is feeding themselves, so this can be a huge lift for their mental clarity, energy levels, and overall mood. Because let’s be honest, a good meal feeds the soul as much as the belly.
5. Sit With Them
The NICU can be a very lonely place. The parents are feeling helpless, most days unable to even hold or care for their baby. A solid support system can be the difference they need to overhaul their entire outlook on a bleak situation. Visit with them, sit with them (even in silence), take mom for a walk or sneak in her favorite Starbucks drink. Handle the situations they can’t mentally wrap their heads around or assist them when tackling critical decisions.
6. Send a NICU Survival Kit
Whether mom is able to stay in the hospital or has to take trips back and forth from home, a thoughtfully compiled NICU survival kit filled with the comforts of home, sprinkled with a few practical and fun surprises can help revive her smile. She may need things like:
Hand Sanitizer
Snacks
Reading materials
A water bottle
Lip Balm
Hand lotion
A sweatshirt
A cute bag to tote it all in
Have no fear, we’ve got this part covered! Check out the Nurtured 9 NICU Gift Basket for Moms, specially curated for this unique situation so you can focus your attention on Mom.
7. Take Care Of The Siblings
They may have expected a quick trip to the hospital for a simple delivery, but now things have changed. With short term childcare plans for the older children in place, they never considered the possibility of a longer stay. Make it easier on them by offering to help yourself or arrange a suitable alternative so they can continue to focus all of their attention on the well being of their new baby. Trust me, it will be a huge weight lifted knowing their children are in good hands.
The most overwhelming and number one tip given by NICU mom’s, is to just show up, because it’s a lonely ride, and they don’t want to be on it alone.
