Mothering the Mother: How to Care for a New Mom
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. ”
When a friend has a baby, she’s likely facing a complete whirlwind of emotions, ranging from utter elation and joy (“I can’t believe I’m a Mom!) to overwhelming anxiety (“I have no idea what I’m doing!”) . And then of course the exhaustion from sleep deprivation builds and builds.
So how can you help and support a new Mom with a newborn?
In our opinion, the best thing to do is find ways to take care of your friend and “mother” HER! Make sure she feels supported – physically and emotionally - as she adjusts to her new role.
Let’s dive into specifics.
First, we would take her home-life dynamics into account. Does she have family living nearby (Mom, Mother-in-law, sister?) who will be helping her out during those first few weeks? If not, we love the idea of asking if it would be okay if you visit (schedule it, don’t swing by) to help her around the house. Here’s what you can do while you’re there:
o Let her nap! Offer to hold the baby while she rests. (Or if the baby is sleeping, let her nap while you do some chores)
o Offer to hold her baby so she can take a shower or eat a meal
o Wash any dishes that are in the sink and load/unload the dishwasher
o Put in a load of dirty laundry and fold any clean clothes that have accumulated
o Prepare a few snacks or meals for Mom (chop up veggies or fruit she has in the fridge)
o Make her a hot cup of tea that she can sip in between baby feedings
o Refill the new mom's water bottle if she is breastfeeding and grab her a hand-held snack (like a bar) while you’re at it
o If she has older children, play with them! Make them feel special. Take them for a walk or to the playground.
Besides helping her IN her house, there are so many wonderful ways to support a new Mom. We asked for some concrete ideas from our community on social media, and here are there lovely ideas:
Drop food at the door and leave! :) – Tania Lang, @tanialangsocial, www.tanialang.com
Offer to clean her house, pick up groceries, or drop off WINE and pizza! – Caitlin Houston, @caitlinhousetonblog, www.caitlinhoustonblog.com
Something I found helpful as a new mom and have done for other new moms was set up a meal train/bring a meal. – Bethany Tuhacek, @hi_its_me_bethany
Bring her dinner! – AJ Aubrey, @dating_and_decorating
I always drop off a meal, snack basket & I make homemade cookie dough scoop and flash freeze with instructions so they can bake homemade cookies in 10 minutes (this is a favorite!). Also, gifting a new mom a delivery service like Shipt or Amazon Prime is also super helpful to eliminate errands and can focus on bonding with the baby. If the new baby has older siblings I send a little gift for the sibling- water wow book (so no mess for the parents) – Jena Khabazeh, @jenaklifestyle
Asking about any food allergies and making a meal to drop off. For me it was so nice that someone made us a meal and understood that I couldn’t have dairy because my baby was sensitive to it. The other thing that is nice is going over to a new moms house and just giving her a few hours to sleep or shower or Wtv. - Cat Maslany, @life_withcat
Finally, we love encouraging a new mom to embrace self-care during those first few weeks and months, reminding her that it’s 100% okay to take a few minutes just for herself, without the baby. Guilt free! Whether this personal time means reading a book, making herself a hot beverage and watching her favorite tv show, putting on a face mask and listening to a podcast or taking a long leisurely bath!
Here are our favorite gifts for New moms that encourage self-care and self-love:
Let us know which gift idea is your favorite! And tell us how you plan to help and support your new Mom friends.